I have a summer job! How deliciously plebeian.
I may be middle class enough to be aware of human suffering but I hope the children I buy with my eventual celebrity will never be.
I hope they go to rehab instead of summer camp.
I hope they go their whole lives without ever discovering the taste of tap water. Nothing that is a EXTENSION OF ME should be subjected to Tempe tap water. Actually, no person* should be subjected to 
*Aw, c’mon guys! Meg Ryan’s not a person! She’s a hellbeast summoned by Satan to entrance movie-goers so they won’t leave in fits of outrage, demanding not only their money back but also a movie industry that doesn’t believe they’re boorish enough to actually enjoy Serious Moonlight.
Rachel Congratulamathor on the new jobs!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that someone like you has to deal with Tempe tap water. One day when you are old and lost all desire to be socially acceptable, you can complain to all the target employees about how when you were their age you were drinkin poison out of a faucet.