When I gained control over the initial blind rage I felt at thought of having to share my Libbie Time™ I was able to see that us* having boyfriend might actually be good for Libbie’s emotional well-being. Not because she’d form a meaningful relationship with another, fully-realized human(Man!) but because she’d finally be allowed to have emotions. One of the demands I make of my friends is that they do not allow themselves to feel. This might seem selfish but it's actually for their own good. Managing the overwhelming enormity and intensity of my emotions requires the skill of at least one superhuman (Libbie) and one barely human (Me). It’s a two person task. If I allowed my friends to feel, even the tiniest bit, the immense weight of our collective feelings would create a black hole of womanly hysteria.
Unless...a man could save us! With a boyfriend, Libbie would have the support of a competent, capable chap she could burden with her lady troubles. Problem solved! EVERYONE GETS TO FEEL!
However, Libbie's last post reminded me that having a boyfriend doesn't necessarily make her life less confusing. So even if I’m not going to stop relying on Libbie to fix the daily chrysies I create for myself, I could at least be clear about when I’m having a meltdown. Here is a graph to clarify when I’m joking and when I NEDD YOOU WRFIGHT THE HELL NOW!!!!!!!!
Rachel I think my favorite nonsense text from you is:
ReplyDeleteHUGS KILLING OF NOT TO KNOW HE MY SCANNING FANTASIES WILL EVER BE REALIZED.
I hope they let you know about the job too Rachel.
I had no idea you felt that way. I knew that you can't (or won't?) let yourself feel emotion unless it's an obscure celebrity obsession or anger, but I didn't know that Ryan is both a hindrance and help to our relationship. Usually he just gets in the way!
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite Rachel text:
I'm making brenf artled! So exciited that soaked urinating making cherryb I needf to see you!
Molly: Now that I know I have the job, it's not too painful to translate: It's killing me not to know if my scanning fantasies (my job at the library) will ever be realized.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I'm disappointed you can't understand that. I mean, you've known me twenty years that's about as transparent as my communications get. Plus we've got twin telekinesis.
Libbie: My phone now automatically changes "brenf artled" to "creme brule" but I don't remember what the rest means. Mystique is part of what makes me so alluring though, right? RIGHT? Or is it my obvious helplessness that draws people toward me, like an wide-eyed orphan in need of mothering?
I want to make creme brule again! Soaked in cherry urine. sO eXCiiTeD!
hahaha brilliant
ReplyDeleteIt makes me think of xkcd comics for some reason.