Monday, July 26, 2010

Special Story Time: I Get Relevant

I consider myself generally ill-informed, especially in regards to current events and other happenings. I don't stay abreast of news primarily because it requires effort but also because I find events occurring outside my mind confusing and/or depressing. Why not live in Magic Magic Land? I do!

I find maintaining a tenuous grasp on reality make existing more manageable...but there are drawbacks. For example, experiencing shock when discovering the ol' town lake exploded. A week ago.

Majestic dumping of trout circa November

I know I didn't ask, but I still feel like someone ought to have told me since this tragedy is actually relevant to my life, unlike most humanitarian crisis. And I know I'm normally too selfish to care when public parks explode but Tempe Town Lake actually held personal significance to me. Gather round, and I'll tell you about it- Special Story Time!

Special Story Time

There was a time, year(s) ago, when I was not the worldly traveler I am today. I was young,, naive, provincial even. I'd lived in Mesa my entire life and had never even tasted gougeres. So I was naturally excited to move into the ASU dorms in Tempe, literally miles from my birth home. Alas, this move did not prove to be the cultural awakening I longed for. I tried to make the best of dorm life, hilariously quipping to my sister:
"I live in a daycare that smells like pot!"
Despite my saintly tolerance, the crassness occasionally became too much, and I'd find myself heading toward Tempe Town Lake's concrete "shores." Once I reached the cement walls retaining the water, I'd close my eyes, hold my breath and evoked my over-developed power of pretend. I'd pretend to be anywhere with a real lake. Anywhere more sophisticated than Tempe. Like Paris. Or Detroit. (Geography Zing!)

Once I returned from New Zealand, completely cosmopolitan, with a working knowledge of bodies of water I stopped going. I feared this practice might cheapened my memories of actual lakes. And now I'll never know! Sure, I could walk down and watch the alligators eat the dying carp, but it wouldn't be the same.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm glad these misunderstood creatures are finally getting to have some fun. But I do feel my distress and grief over this matter entitle me to some compensation. I feel I'm owed something by the city of Tempe. Like a pet alligator.
I'd name him Petey and we'd be best friends and even better business partners. Like Shaun and Gus!

Drawing done with a Holiday Express pen on Fairfield Inn paper

Oh, the times we'd surely have!


  1. Rachel what if we all had alligators.What if they agreed to transport us to where we needed to go? What if we lived in a world where people and alligators lived peacefully side by side. What if youth alligators attended our schools. What if alligators were apart of our government? What if one day we had our first alligator president. What if one day the alligators are the majority and humans the minority? What if Alligators started being hostile towards humans. What if alligators put up "No Humans Allowed" signs in their place of business? What if Alligators start paying humans less than what they earn? What if Alligators stop paying humans. What if Alligators keep humans as slaves. What if Alligators kill off most of the human race? What if the remaining humans are put in the zoo for alligators to enjoy? What if the time of human domination is forgotten by all?

    Have you thought about these very real and probable outcomes Rachel?

  2. So I was told off this morning for not commenting on your blog even though I tried to a few months ago and it didn't work and I remembered the old maxim, "If at first you don't succeed, just quit". So that is precisely what I did. But I then I remembered the second half is actually, "try, try again" so here I am. I logged on expecting to write something urbane and witty to be admired by all, but after reading Molly's comment above I realized that I had no chance of topping that. So instead I will post a delightful, albeit blurry video.

  3. If you put a "lake" in Tempe, it's still Tempe-- don't feel like you missed out on anything. And your blog background is intense. I personally do feel like it's raining Noel Fielding!

  4. Molly, did you consider that you are SERIOUSLY BUMMING ME OUT? Petey would never do those things. Like myself and that half human, half-Dalek hybrid, Petey favors human domination.

    Carolyn: I've opened my blog to the possibility of spam so you don't have to endure signing in to comment now. I like the video, and the idea of being begged for a hamburger by Andrew. I would give one to him! Extra juicy.

    Libbie: I meant my background to be temporary, but the idea of stopping Noel rain, even fleetingly, is to painful now. This is my new look! The outsider art,glorious people portraits look. I think it suits me!

  5. You and Petey are almost as adorable as your blog and new blog background!